Just for Fun

How was golf named golf??

Like most modern words, the word "golf" derives from older languages and dialects. In this case, the languages in question are medieval Dutch and old Scots.

The medieval Dutch word "kolf" or "kolve" meant "club." It is believed that word passed to the Scots, whose old Scots dialect transformed the word into "golve," "gowl" or "gouf."

By the 16th Century, the word "golf" had emerged.

Sources: British Golf Museum, USGA Library

A couple of golf jokes to brighten your day!

THE CURSING NUN!

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it," the nun said.

"When did you use this awful language?" the Mother Superior asks.

Answered the nun: "Well, I was golfing and hit this fabulous drive that looked like it was going to go 280 yards, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground only 100 yards from the tee."

"Is that when you cursed?"

"No, Mother Superior," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."

"Is that when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior.

"Well, no," says the nun.

"As the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"Is that when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.

"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear then?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole."

The two nuns were silent for a moment.

Then Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the &!#&%#%! putt, didn't you?"

THE LIAR AND THE CHEAT!

Lee and Gary head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, Lee turns to Gary and says, "What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for £5?" Gary agrees, and they start their rounds.

It's a great game, and the two lifelong friends reach the No. 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke. After Lee hits a great drive, right down the middle, Gary steps up and promptly hooks a ball into deep rough and trees.

"C'mon," Gary says to Lee, "help me find my ball. I'll look in this patch of trees, and you look around over there."

They look and look and look, but no ball can be found. The five-minute time limit on searching for lost balls is about to run out. Gary gets desparate. He gives a quick glance over to Lee to see if he is looking, then swiftly reaches into his pocket and drops a new ball into the rough.

"Found my ball!" Gary shouts out triumphantly.

Lee looks at his friend with great disappointment.

"After all the years we've been friends," Lee says, "you'd cheat me at golf for a measly five quid?"

"What do you mean cheat?" Gary asks indignantly. "I found my ball sitting right here!"

Lee lets out a heavy sigh. "And you'd lie to me, too? All for a tiny little sum of money? You'd cheat me and lie to me, for what? For five quid? I can't believe you'd stoop so low."

"Well what makes you so sure I'm cheating and lying, anyway?" Gary asks.

"Because," Lee replies, "I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!"